(Source: jamjars)

  • parents: why are you awake so early
  • me: who said i went to sleep

Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don’t know, can you? Me: When I was using “can” I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you’d know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

image

More Laughs Here.

(Source: d0pe-sauce, via h4h4h4h4)

have you ever been so mad you ripped your own arm off?

More Laughs Here.

(Source: iraffiruse, via h4h4h4h4)

shout out to my friend for picking the most inappropriate background music for her class project on alzheimer’s disease

“somebody that i used to know”

More Laughs Here.

(Source: vocaroo, via h4h4h4h4)

WHEN I RUN ON THE TREADMILL

More Laughs Here.

(Source: howdoiputthisgently, via h4h4h4h4)

my life goal is to buy out an entire concert and then the artist will come on stage so dramatically and it will just be me sitting there like image

(Source: tridant, via soundslikebullshitbro)

fuckyeahharrystyles:

ha

One Direction's Clothes

  • Niall: dresses like normal teenage boy
  • Liam: dresses like normal teenage boy
  • Zayn: dresses like gay jock
  • Harry: dresses like gay professor
  • Louis: dresses like gay sailor

When people on Facebook edit their photos like this.

nicoosuxx:

I’m just like:

(Source: gabbiebz)

  • me: I AM A STRONG BLACK WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN
  • real life friends: ...the fuck you smoking
  • parents: but sweetheart you're white
  • tumblr friends: BBY DATS RIGHT U GO TYRONE U GO

(Source: vitall, via gostealcinderella)

h-styles:

fuckme-1direction:

nickiminiall:

h-styles:

theyre british what did you expect

of course theyre gonna be pussies

cant handle american women

this is why we won the war

oh will you shut the fuck up with your stupid fucking American eagle.

how did your tea taste

after we threw it in the harbor 

bitch

(via soundslikebullshitbro)

partyintheusanus:

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SHAVED RABBIT

(via be-your-teenage-dream-tonight)